Feliz 40’s / Happy 40th

Mis abundantes 40’s

La entrada de mis 40 años llega en un momento de incertidumbre colectiva, donde prima el miedo y la preocupación. Por suerte, habiendo caminado por el sendero del autoconocimiento, veo el mundo desde otra mirada. Esta miranda me permite vivir la vida desde mi mejor versión, saber que la preocupación se combate haciendo lo mejor que puedo con los recursos que tengo. En este momento agradezco infinitamente al universo por todo lo que tengo, por la plenitud y la abundancia. Agradezco saber que solo puedo pagar esa dicha ayudando a los demás, viviendo en comunidad, siendo coherente con el valor de la solidaridad y la empatía. Celebrando cada día mis regalos.

Mi familia es uno de mis mayores tesoros. Mi Marco, mi niño hermoso que celebra ahora todos los días el haber cumplido 4 años, encantado con el arte, la música, los animales, súper héroes y dinosaurios. Vivo en una casa donde mi madre come hormigas, elefantes, tigres, y cualquier otro animal que su nieto necesite para comerse la comida. En ocasiones tiene hambre de niño, haciendo una fiesta de cosquillas y besos, y cuando le digo que tengo miedo, se convierte en mi fan favorita, diciéndome “tu puedes” o “lo vas hacer maravillosamente bien”. Hablando de fans tengo a mi padre, un hombre ejemplar, luchador, responsable y honesto. Celebrar mis 40´s con el testarudo señor Pérez, no solo es un regalo increíblemente valioso, sino también uno de los motivos por lo que mi vida es un cofre lleno de abundancia. Además de mis hermanas que la vida me regaló, la madre que mi padre nos entregó cuando se volvió a casar, mi maravillosa e incondicional Cefe o abuela Pepe, el universo me ha regalado una lupa mágica al nacer. Esta lupa me permite entrar dentro de mí, reconociendo mi luz y mi sombra.

Por esto, en sintonía con el número 40 aquí dejo mi listado de 40 razones por la que estoy agradecida.

1. El aire que respiro.
2. El agua potable que tomo.
3. Tener agua caliente para bañarme.
4. Un cuerpo colmado en salud.
5. Toda mi familia sana.
6. Ser mamá de un niño maravilloso.
7. Trabajar en un proyecto como Los Arbolitos que cambia vidas y hace que el mundo sea un lugar mejor.
8. Tener un horario flexible de trabajo.
9. Tener un personal empático, solidario y trabajador.
10. Tener la ayuda incondicional de Cefe.
11. Tener maestros como Richard (que me regaló a Maria Esther) y a Silvia.
12. Tener unas amigas que se han convertido en hermanas.
13. Tener acceso a medicinas y un sistema de salud.
14. Tener un pediatra incondicional como Frank.
15. Tener un carro para moverme.
16. Poder viajar y conocer el mundo.
17. Disfrutar de un buen vino y un bloody Cesar.
18. Tener a Christian para seguir mi rutina de ejercicios.
19. Tener consciencia de lo importante que el mundo natural es para alimentarme todos los días y sanarme cuando lo necesito.
20. Poder abastecerme de comida, medicinas y lo necesario en caso de emergencias.
21. Tener acceso a Internet.
22. Poder celebrar la vida de Papi.
23. Ver a mi hermano disfrutar de su familia.
24. Haber tenido una maravillosa y exitosa experiencia en México.
25. Poder dormir con aire acondicionado cuando deseo.
26. Saber que tengo un techo donde vivir seguro.
27. Tener unos buenos vecinos.
28. Tener comida y poder disfrutar de comer lo que se me antoje.
29. Amar y disfrutar de la música (no imagino la vida sin ella).
30. Poder tener la libertad de votar y vivir en una sociedad donde tengo derechos.
31. Poder tener el arbolito de navidad que siempre soñé.
32. Tener lentes que me ayudan a ver.
33. Disfrutar del mar (Marco de la arena, tiene sentimientos encontrados con el agua del Mar).
34. Facetime, que diferente es verle la cara al otro mientras hablas.
35. Poder leer y escribir.
36. Ver como decreto en mi visión board 2020 y todo se cumple o se acerca a cumplirse.
37. Tener los recursos para ayudar a los demás.
38. Tener a Marco en un Colegio donde aprenda, pero sobre todo lo quieran y lo cuiden.
39. Aprender a usar Canva y Prezzi
40. Viva Netflix y Youtube.

• Agradecida por MI

Y sí, me siento tan agradecida de por mí, por la mujer que soy, por el camino recorrido en estos 40 años que me han llevado a reconocer mi fortaleza, mi corazón, mi belleza, mi alma. Me celebro, me aplaudo y me valoro, porque entro a una nueva década empoderada, comprometida conmigo misma a siempre dar lo mejor que pueda de mí, prometo amarme, cuidarme y celebrar todos los días la maravilla que es mi vida. ¡Feliz Cumpleaños Gaby!

My abundant 40’s

 

The entrance of my 40th birthday comes at a time of collective uncertainty, where fear and worry prevail. Luckily, since I’ve been walking in a path of self-knowledge, I see the world from another perspective. This perspective allows me to live life from the best version of myself and knowing that worry is fought by doing the best I can with the resources I have. At this moment I am infinitely grateful to the universe for everything I have, for the fullness and abundance. I am grateful to know that I can only pay for this fulfillment by helping others, by living in community, by living my life through solidarity and empathy, by simply celebrating my gifts every day.

My family is one of my greatest treasures. My Marco, my beautiful boy who now celebrates his 4th birthday every day, enchanted by art, music, animals, super heroes and dinosaurs. I live in a house where my mother eats ants, elephants, tigers, and any other animal that her grandson needs in order to eat his meals. She sometimes yells “Im hungry, I’m going to eat a little boy!”,  followed by a party of tickles and kisses. Whenever I tell her that I am afraid, she becomes my biggest fan, always saying “you can do anything ” or “you are going to do wonderfully well”. Speaking of fans, I am oh so very thankful for my Dad, an exemplary man, a fighter, responsible and honest human being. Celebrating my 40’s with the headstrong Mr. Pérez, is not only an incredibly valuable gift, but also one of the reasons why my life is a treasure chest full of abundance. In addition to the magical sisters that life gave me, the second mother that my father gave us when he remarried, my wonderful and unconditional Cefe or grandmother Pepe, the universe has given me a magic glass when I was born. This magic glass allows me to enter inside myself, recognizing my light and my shadow.

For this, in tune with the number 40 here I leave my list of 40 reasons for which I am grateful.

1. The air I breathe.
2. The drinking clean water.
3. Having hot water.
4. Having a heathy body.
5. All my family is healthy and happy.
6. Being the mother to the most wonderful child.
7. Working on a project like Los Arbolitos that changes lives and makes the world a better place.
8. Having a flexible work schedule.
9. Being a leader to an empathetic, caring and hardworking staff.
10. Enjoying the unconditional help of Cefe.
11. Having life teachers like Richard (who gave me Maria Esther) and Silvia.
12. Having friends who have became sisters.
13. I have access to medicines and a health system.
14. Being blessed with an unconditional pediatrician like Frank.
15. Having a car to move around.
16. Being able to travel and know the world.
17. Enjoying a good wine and a bloody Cesar.
18. Having Christian to follow my exercise routine.
19. Being conscious of how important natural medicine and a balanced nutrition changed my body into a healthier version of itself.
20. Being able to stock up on food, medicine and what is necessary in case of emergencies.
21. Having access to the Internet.
22. Being able to celebrate Daddy’s life.
23. Seeing my brother enjoy his family and having two healthy wonderful girls.
24. Having the most wonderful and successful experience in Mexico.
25. Being able to sleep with air conditioning when I want.
26. Knowing that I have a safe roof to live in.
27. Having good neighbors.
28. Having food and being able to enjoy my cravings as I please.
29. Loving and enjoying music (I can’t imagine life without it).
30. Being able to vote and living in a society where I have rights.
31. Creating the Christmas tree that I always dreamed of.
32. Having reading glasses that help me see.
33. Enjoying the sea (Marco enjoys the sand more; he has mixed feelings with the sea water).
34. Facetime, how different it is to see the other’s face while you speak.
35. Being able to read and write.
36. Seeing what created in my vision board 2020, is fulfilled or is close to being fulfilled.
37. Having the resources to help others.
38. Having Marco in a school where he can learn, but above all he is loved and taken care for.
39. Learning how to use Canva and Prezzi
40. Long live Netflix and Youtube!
41. Thankful for ME

And yes, I feel so grateful for myself, for the woman I am, for the path I have traveled in these 40 years that have led me to recognize my strength, my heart, my beauty, my soul. I celebrate, applaud and value myself, because I am entering an empowered new decade, committed to myself to always giving my best, promising to love me, to take care of myself and celebrate every day the wonder that is my life. Happy Birthday Gaby!

 

Chasing my biggest dream yet…

A few months ago I decided to follow my biggest and scariest dream yet; I decided to follow my dream of being a mother, in my case a single mother. When I first decided to go for it, I said to myself that I need time to process all the past events of 2014 that might have clouded my judgement. I had just ended an almost year and a half toxic relationship with a man that I loved at first but by the end I had fallen out of love with. For some time in this past relationship, I was still willing to be with someone who I knew did not love me, who I did not love, who didn’t make me happy or appreciate me, and most importantly who had a lot of issues that made me acknowledge the fact, that he could never be the father I wanted for my child, but he was still a way for me to have a family. Now that I look back at that time, I find myself realizing that I don’t have to sacrifice my happiness nor my beliefs in order to be a mom. I can be a single mother, I have the right to live in peace, and dedicate my life to raise a child in a loving, peaceful home.

Another past event that made me question my decision was the recent loss of my loving grandmother, Bubi. She was the most amazing grandmother/mother/angel that ever lived in this earth. She loved her family unconditionally, and even though we knew she wanted to rest, and got to enjoy her for quite a long time, I still felt a huge void in my heart when she passed away. A close friend told me I should give myself a few months to grieve my Bubi and if I still felt the desire to be a mom that I should go for it. A wise friend also said that I should grieve the fact that I was quitting on a life partner, at least for the near future (you never know what life and love brings you) in order to have the family I dreamed about.

So after a few months of thinking, grieving and most importantly dreaming I have decided to be a single mother by choice. First I told my family (everyone except my dad), then I told only my very closest friends. It was no surprise to me their huge amount of support and approval. I’ve always known how amazingly understanding they can be. My closest girlfriends are the sisters I never had, even when the tears of overwhelming emotions come in, they held my hand and one of them actually went to my first doctor’s appointment with me when I said I didn’t want to go by myself. The support that I got gave me the courage to tell my dad which by this time was the only really important person I needed to tell. My dad is not one to share his feeling, so when I wrote him a letter filled with my emotions, all the hope, happiness, fears and expectations of chasing my dream, he responded with the same emotion, acknowledging his love, support and trust in my decision and in the fact that I’m going to be a great mom.

I come from a conservative culture, giving the fact that I’m a born and raised Dominican woman, living in the Dominican Republic, so don’t judge me for being so surprised, that every time I tell someone of my decision I only get supportive responses. This support system makes me want to share my story of my quest to become a mother in this year, because if my story helps another woman, then I can consider myself paid. I think life gives back what you give to it, so if I give support and hope to others, life will pay me back with the same things, as it has so far.

While I was browsing through the internet I found an awesome organization called “Single Mother by Choice”, that is the greatest place for support and information on being a single mom that I could ever find. I read a blog they had on their page titled “This one next step”, which gave me a sense of validation that my biggest dream wasn’t a crazy dream. Why should I put all the power of finding my ultimate happiness in a someone who I haven’t met, why do I have to wait to find a man so I can have a child, why, if have the home, job, family and friends can’t I make the decision by myself to have and raise a child that I’m a hundred percent certain that is going to have all the love in the world he or she needs.

I will admit I’m scared, very scared, I know being a single mother is harder than having a child with a life partner. I still haven’t decided how and what I’m going to tell him or her when he or she asks about the fact dad doesn’t exist. I have also have yet to decide what I’m going to say in my work place, living in a conservative culture can be a strain from time to time. Even though I have some doubts, of one thing I am certain, this is my biggest dream and even though it’s my scariest one I know I have all that I need to be an excellent mom, and life has blessed me with the most wonderful family and friends, who are  now and forever the best support system in the planet.

If you can dream it, you can do it

This is a famous Walt Disney quote. “If you can dream it, you can do it”. The question is how do we go about dreaming things we can actually accomplish or do we just dream as big as possible and work our asses off in order to achieve this huge and  wonderful dream.

I have been reading this book, written by the bravest, most extraordinary and brilliant Dominican psychologist called Anny Tholeenar. She mentions three fases or stages or just basic different concepts that we need no differentiate in order to look ahead in our future. Knowing your dreams, your wishes or desires and your goals, will ultimately force you to work on making your future as big, bright and happy as you want it to be.

Dreams are “almost” impossible. Notice that I used the word almost, because they can sometime be out of reach. For example, you come from a small town of Haiti, you family is living in total poverty, you have to work in order to help your family get food, so you never go to school, the chances of making your dream to be one of the most famous doctors in Haiti and opening a clinic that will attend impoverished communities is far from reachable. But what if, just bear with me here, what if the universe conspires in this kids favor and makes that dream happen. The universe could suddenly puts a Foundation right in that town and they have this excellent program to educate kids and help families have some kind of income so their children can go to school. Pedro, let jus name the kid Pedro, is the best in this class. We has an amazing writing ability and a good ear for languages, so Betty, his American teacher decides to teach him English on her spare time. The Foundations has a lot of sponsors and they manage to keep functioning until Pedro graduates. They help him get a scholarship, and holy crap he got the scholarship to study medicine in USA!!! A lot of other good stuff that happens, and Pedro always giving 150% no matter how hard things got, made his HUGE dream come true. When he became a doctor, he decided to go back to Haiti, he works as doctor and volunteers at the Foundation inspiring other kids to dream big. True he is not changing the world of medicine or the health system in his country, but he is living his dream running his clinic and giving basic assistance that did not exist before. Damn his universe did good!… Hey I just made this up, but it doesn’t sound too crazy, it doesn’t happen that often but hec it could happen!

Wishes or desires are sort of a trampoline to achieving your goals. I sometimes now what I want I just don’t have a clue how the hec to start doing things in order to get what I want. That is where the goals come in, you have decided what you want to achieve in a certain amount of time and made your plan on the steps you’re taking to reach these goals.

So dreaming, wishing, and setting goals is easy… Yeah right!! Dream scare the crap out of me, I think maybe there too big, or too silly, or sometime I don’t even know what I wish therefore haven the slightest idea what to do to accomplish this wish that I supposedly want.

Ok, so I have decided to listen to my pal Disney, I’m dreaming, cause trust me I’m doing. What exactly and how, But having spare time, the most beautiful home, friends, life coaching and permission to dream crazy, big silly dreams, that will ultimately lead me to setting concrete goals, will lead me to having my wishes come true. And who knows maybe if I don’t get scared, I’m disciplined and I go for it, the universe will conspire in me having all my dreams come true. I’ll admit I’m a little bit scared but I might as well start someday!